Adverse weather conditions sweeping across the United Kingdom have forced many brussels sprout farmers to abandon their crops. As a result, the vegetable, which has been reduced to hardened projectiles and snowball fodder due to widespread frost in many parts of Norfolk and Lincolnshire, will be in short supply this festive season. Ostensibly, this means the traditional seasonal vegetable will not appear on many plates this Christmas period.Though the mainstream media is reporting this as bad news, and indeed it will be problematic for British farmers, millions will be cheered by the absence of the country's most hated veggie. Children in the south of England will, for one year, be spared their mother snapping "eat your sprouts or there will be no Christmas pudding" at them.
Thousands across Norfolk have held parties in celebration of the news, revelling as if it were Christmas Day already, regardless of whether they had yet broken up for their Chrimbo hols. As one can imagine, this has caused some disruption to public transport and vital services, though things are expected to be 'back to normal' again –or as normal as can be when all employees are wasted on eggnog– before the 25th December.
A Facebook campaign is now underway to try and make the celebration an annual event, and plans are already in place to sabotage next year's crop of brussels sprouts: Dave from accounts is saving a pot of Dulux paint in his shed until November 2010, when he will not only kill off any budding sprouts with the stuff, but also cover farmers' glasses in a thick coat of magnolia to prevent them tending to their crop.
Image licensed under Creative Commons by Eric
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