Many will admit it's been coming for months and the net has been slowly grinding itself away since early last year, but this week, following a busy Christmas period the Internet has officially fallen to bits.
Online shopping and banking have dropped significantly, major sites have reported massive downturns in visitor numbers, Google employees have finally had to actually do some work... yes, the Credit Crunch has finally hit the web.
The defining factor is perhaps the amount of revenue being generated for Rupert Murdoch's Not At All Evil, I Swear Corp, which has dropped from just over ten million dollars a second to only thirty million in a minute. It's thought some of this cash has been pinched by Cash For Gold websites, which Murdoch currently has no affiliation with, but 'would consider' entering into in the near future should the present slump continue.
Reports of servers literally collapsing have been rife on the North American continent, with numerous supercomputers and server farms going up in smoke at precisely 12AM on New Year's Day, a phenomenon predictably termed by the press as the 2k10 Bug. European servers are yet to be affected, but experts claim it is only a matter of time before thousands of British geeks simply melt away into a pile of molten lead and silicon, leaving the Internet in a state of much botheration.
Should your own computer begin to whirr and clunk as though it were a robot being from the future intent on destroying the world, do absolutely nothing for ages and then unplug and plug it in again. That should fix the problem, at least for now.
0 comments:
Post a Comment