Owl arrested for flying over the limit: Binge drinking birds now a 'serious problem'

Hot on the heels of last week's news that inebriated Romanian birds are literally falling out of the sky ("Don't Drink and Fly" - Romanian RSPB), newswires are today reporting the arrest of a German owl found over the limit.

Police officers took the bird, high on Schnapps, to the station whereupon it was subjected to rigorous checks for firearms or illegal substances, before releasing it the following morning when it had 'sobered up a bit'.

The bird in question had consumed 0.13 units of alcohol, well over the acceptable level for owls, marmosets and even Himalayan wolves. When we first found him wandering in the middle of a busy road, eyes glazed over, we gave him a quick sobriety test. Since he could not tell us his home address or even his name, we bundled him into the cab and drove 'im downtown. ~ Helmut Marsbar, Pforzheim Metropolitan Police

The owl escaped with a caution and fine of 2 Euros 30 cents, later reduced to nothing upon appeal by the German RSPB. Not everyone is happy with the verdict, however:

This is an outrage. Where were the RSPB to reduce my sentence when I crashed into that lamp post? Oh man, what a night that was. Started out on the Toilet Duck and moved on to Mr Sheen before polishing off a Glade plug in, all before 11PM. Got absolutely wasted and smashed this street light to a billion pieces on the way home. It was like out of an action movie, only in slow motion and double vision! ~ Father Jack Hackett

Father Hackett was arrested just minutes later for shouting profanities at a passing ice cream van, which just so happened to contain undercover police officers on a stakeout. Whilst this was happening, the criminals they were stalking got away with €45,000 and a Cornetto. Craggy Island police are on the lookout for a green Vauxhall Astra with a 'mind that child' sign in the back window.

Plans to open a bird rehab centre in Berlin are well underway, with over 2,000 birds provisionally signed up for treatment. First on the list is this poor unfortunate:



Image courtesy Dragus. Video from Groovywim.