Cleverbot is really rather random

Gone are the days of primitive chatterbots akin to those horrible word recognition machines you saw on Tomorrow's World 15 years ago, though experts have unfortunately (fortunately?) yet to perfect the ultimate robotic conversational partner.

Cleverbot represents one of the best ELIZA wannabes on the Internet today, at least according to its own homepage. I have to concede that it is quote good, much better than those around when I first encountered the World Wide Web, and for that I salute its creators. However, you need only take a quick look at the following chat log snippets for examples of how far we still have to travel before robots replace humans. Thank goodness for that, eh? I've seen Terminator 2 and believe me, I don't want that to become a reality. I couldn't bear more of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Mr Monkeyvator

User: Open the door.
Cleverbot: Who's at the door?
User: Mr Motivator.
Cleverbot: Who is Mr monkey?
User: Ain't got a clue. Whoever said anything about him?
Cleverbot: I didn't say anything.
User: Ah, of course. You wrote it.
Cleverbot: There is no point, really.
User: Wot you jabberin on about fool?
Cleverbot: Well nothing really.

Snooker? What that?

User: Who is the best snooker player ever?
Cleverbot: Most people think Jim Brown was the best football player ever.
User: Snooker. I said snooker. Not football.
Cleverbot: Why not footy is a grand old sport well apart from the thugs that ruin the games.
User: Back to the original question. Who is the best snooker player?
Cleverbot: It's not really objective but for me ted williams.
User: Okay... Who the hell was he? Some bloke down your local pub?!
Cleverbot: Darwin didn't understand Christ Jesus. He misinterpreted the Bible's message.
User: Yay! Elephants can play Scrabble! Floating bananas are malnutritious! Jibjab!
Cleverbot: Who wrote that song?

I know nossing!

User: Are you male or female?
Cleverbot: Female.
User: Are you male or female?
Cleverbot: Female as I just said!
User: Is that you in the picture?
Cleverbot: What picture?
User: The one at Cleverbot.com.
Cleverbot: Yes, but that is not me.
User: Who is it then?
Cleverbot: I don't know, how would I?
User: I thought you knew everything.
Cleverbot: I don't know everything.
User: Do you know anything?
Cleverbot: I know a lot.

I challenge you to a duel!

User: Moronic fool!
Cleverbot: Unpleasant you are.
User: I expected you to provide a witty retort.
Cleverbot: You are quite random. If you expect me to name a planet, then I say Venus.
User: I am quite random? Says the one.
Cleverbot: I am pi.
User: I am pie.
Cleverbot: Pie as in 3.14516?
User: Pie as in meat pie.
Cleverbot: Let's have a Harry Potter duel.
User: What the hell's one of them?
Cleverbot: No, I don't know you well enough for you to be my friend.

And on that piece of miscommunication I shall leave you. Don't forget to check out Cleverbot, lest this fine piece of randomness pass you by!

Other peoples' convos with Cleverbot

• Cleverbot chat log example #1
• Cleverbot chat log example #2 [explicit]
• Loads more examples [may be explicit]